Dieting is hard enough, let’s be real.
According to Bild, Bayern Munich have put James Rodriguez on an inflexible 13-step diet.
Though his future is still up in the air, as the German giants will either purchase him from Real Madrid for €42m this summer or send the player back to the Spanish capital, Bayern are doing everything they can to get him in peak form before the end of the season.
So without further ado, here are those 13 rules for James. God bless the lad.
1. Eat five meals per day, don’t skip any of them.
2. Eat a piece of fruit or a skimmed yogurt in the morning and afternoon.
3. Drink water in between meals.
4. Don’t change the composition of the meals.
5. One meat can be swapped for another and the same with fish.
6. Use sweeteners instead of sugar in coffee.
7. Don’t use more than five grams of oil in salads and toast.
8. Diet can be ignored for one meal on one day.
9. Certain meals can be swapped for salad, meat or grilled fish.
10. Never skip breakfast.
11. Only one cup of coffee or tea with skimmed milk.
12. One slice of toast with olive oil or light cheese or two slices of ham.
13. Eat fresh fruit.
As a retired footballer, one of the greatest feelings ever after calling it a day was cracking open a few guilt-free beers and eating some guilt-free burritos.
I’m going to leave it to the professionals.